The Cooking Show For Amateur Cookers
by samthecg
Summary: This is the brain child of me and my friend Kitkatz. It involves our own cooking show being put at the same time as ER. Special, eh? Please R and R!


The Cooking Show for Amateur Cookers.  
  
By Sammie and Kitkatz  
  
Sammie: Hi-hi readers! It's us again! We're supplying you with more humourous reading material. Always containing the cast from ER.  
  
Kitkatz: YAY! This story is demented too. And it takes place after the "Series of Abnormal Events."  
  
Sammie: But the SoAE isn't done yet. That won't make this difficult to understand. I'm not sure if the SoAE will ever end, so it'll. Okay, what? I didn't understand myself. Don't mind that. It was very weird. Uh-huh. I'm Sammie and Sam.  
  
Kitkatz: I'm Tara and Kitkatz. We have aliases. WAHAHA!  
  
Sammie: Special. Are you special??? That's what I thought. Now, to the fic!  
  
Disclamer: We don't own the cast of ER. But we own this cooking show! Hehe.  
  
$#W*(&!@#*($^!@%$&*!@#&^*#@%*&$!$%@&  
  
Director Dude: Quiet on the set! We're on in 3, 2, 1. *He points towards the set.*  
  
Sam: Hi-hi!  
  
Tara: Nihao! Welcome to our wonderful program.  
  
Sam: The Cooking Show For Amateur Cookers! Where you, the viewer, can learn how to cook!  
  
Tara: By setting a "good" cooking example.  
  
Sam: *Whispers to Tara.* Huh? I did not get that. And if someone gets you, it's me!  
  
Tara: *Sigh.* That was sarcasm. Who says we're better than the viewers.  
  
Sam: I never said we were. We just need some cash.  
  
Director Dude: The viewers!!! Talk to the viewers!!!  
  
Tara: Today we're gonna cook instant pudding. God, how the *^&$* do you do that???  
  
Sam: Tara, we're supposed to know that! Anyways, there are instructions on the package. I can't be that hard, can it???  
  
Tara: Ok, whatever you say. Then let's start!  
  
Director Dude: Cut! No, no, no! I thought you dumb-^%#*s would know how to make pudding! It's simple!  
  
Sammie: It isn't that easy for teenagers who still live with their mothers! I've never made pudding.  
  
Director Dude: I don't ca-  
  
His Assistant Dude: *Taps the director dude on the shoulder.* Um, sir?  
  
Director Dude: It's "your majesty!"  
  
Assistant: Sure, your majesty.  
  
Director Dude: What is your problem???  
  
Assistant: Well, uh, we're live, your majesty.  
  
Director Dude: What the $#&%$^#$^%?!?! I paid top dollar for this mother- ^%#^%$&^ing timeslot and we're live??? &$*&$&*#^&@$%^*@^!!!!!!!!  
  
@%$&(*&^$#&(^%#^ Back in the ER #^&$&(*&^#^$@##@  
  
Kerry: Have any of you slackers noticed that the board is FULL?!?!  
  
Luka: Huh? We're on our break.  
  
Abby: Leave us alone!  
  
Kerry: *limps off, muttering cusses under her breath.*  
  
Carter: So what's on TV at the moment?  
  
Chuny: *Leafing through the TV Guide.* Anyone got the time?  
  
Gallant: It's 22:03.  
  
Chuny: In regular words, please?  
  
Gallant: Just past 10 pm.  
  
Chuny: And it's Thursday, right?  
  
Luka: Yes. It's Thursday.  
  
Chuny: *Leafs through the guide again.* Oh, okay. There's something!  
  
Carter: What?  
  
Chuny: The Cooking Show For Amateur Cookers. With Sammie and Tara.  
  
Haleh: Oh cool! They have their own show!  
  
Gallant: Oh god.  
  
Luka: They can cook too? Awwwwww, all I can do is save lives. I want to cook. Lets watch the show.  
  
Malik: What about our show? I want to see what happens to Romano in that pie-eating contest!  
  
ER Director using the hidden cameras to watch the ER cast: Oh $&$&^! Those girls, they're so hot right now. I can see the ratings for ER going down and their hot, hot show's ratings skyrocketing! %$^*! We have major problems. But I have an idea.  
  
Carter: We have our own show?! Nobody ever tells me these kinds of things! And what, it's on at 10 on Thursdays right?  
  
Randi: You got it!  
  
Frank: I never signed anything! I want to sue!!  
  
Carter: Don't sue. Here's A couple hundred grand. Take it. *Hands a huge wad of cash to Frank.*  
  
Frank: I don't need to sue anymore! Hehe.  
  
Abby: But we still have a dilemma. Which show to watch? ER, featuring our pretty faces or our friends and their super-funny show? That's also educational.  
  
Luka: So what do we do?  
  
Frank: I vote eating the head off a chicken.  
  
Yosh: EWWWWW!  
  
Susan: Hob aboub da dobuts? *Yes, she's still eating the donuts. Surprise, surprise.*  
  
Randi: I like fish skulls.  
  
Abby: Listen to me!!!! WE AREN'T TALKING ABOUT FOOD!!!  
  
Carter: It IS a cooking show.  
  
Luka: I have to agree with Carter.  
  
Susan: *Swallows her mouthful of donut.* So we're watching the cooking show then.  
  
Yosh: Good.  
  
So everyone settles down on the chairs in front of the TV. Frank is eating his chicken head, Yosh is staring in absolute disgust.  
  
Malik: Gobble, gobble!  
  
Romano: It's bawk, bawk you idiot! You aren't a freakin turkey!  
  
Susan: Lurkey. Ya know, turkey lurkey!  
  
Luka: Moo! Moo!  
  
The ER erupts in a cacophony of different farm animal noises. Susan whinnies while eating her donuts, causing a very, very odd noise to come out of her mouth. It sounded like this. NEIHEIH GHAGEWA HEIHJGE. Freaky, I know. Malik still gobbles, but he's acting like a chicken. Romano is yelling at him and bawking like a chicken. Luka is mooing. Yosh is, uh, a turtle. That doesn't make noise. Frank is um, hee-hawing. As in a donkey hee-haws. Randi is quacking. Haleh is baaing. Chuny is meowing. Abby is barking. Gallant is doing stuff that bunnies do. And Carter has just started singing Old MacDonald Has A Farm. But he's saying Young John Carter Owns A Farm. I think that the ER has gone even crazier than in their first fanfic experience with Sammie and Tara. How difficult was that to do?  
  
%$^#@%$*&#@^%$#!*&%#^@$  
  
So this won't be the stand-alone that we'd hoped for. But we feel like posting something now. So we did. This has been written by Sammie and Kitkatz. Part of the Elite Donut Squad. Go to our website. sprinkydonuts.tripod.com 


End file.
